Privilege and New Beginnings

Hello.
It's been a while (approximately 3 years). Please forgive me if my writing's rusty.

First of all, I'd like to acknowledge the name change of this blog (from The Golden Ages to Golden Days). Something that has changed the most since I wrote here last is that my involvement in social justice has shaped my life over the past 3 years. I think that the activism of the 60's and the hippies inspired me to get involved, but I now know that there's a movement right here, right now. Additionally, the 60's were definitely not a golden age for any marginalized group, like people of color, the LGBTQ+ community, or people with disabilities. I realize now that the classification of a time that was rampant with racism, homophobia, and sexism as a "golden age" is an extremely privileged position, that I, as a cis-gender, able-bodied, white woman was able to hold. Furthermore, it alludes to a past glory that should be restored, which is an ideology that's too closely aligned with Trump's campaign slogan for my liking.
This blog's current name, Golden Days, still has an air of reflection, but it's mixed with with a feel of contemporaneity - there are many more golden days to come.

Secondly, I'd like to wish everyone a happy new year. 2017 was a year of immense pressure, added responsibility, new friends, and gaining experiences. Here's an overview.


January

I spent the New Year's Eve with my best friend, her 12-year old cousin and his friend, and her boyfriend. We drank Martinelli's cider, sat in the hot tub, and played card games. The next day, I called a longtime crush and told him I liked him, and, for the first time in my life, I wasn't rejected.
I spent time with my sister and my best friends. I worked at a daycare and found that I love taking care of two year olds. I stressed about college and my friends graduating and Trump. I had a class discussion with people who thought that rape is the victims fault (IT'S NOT). My best friends were: the Chem group (Eli, Cameron, Ben, Dani, Holly), the GSA board (Grace, Madi, Bea, Alicia, Kirsten, Jayda, Ren, Karsten), Nick D, Adam C, and Nick G.

Sibling and sibling, out for pizza and
sleepover

Maddles, Starboy, and A, three of my best friends getting coffee

February

- three of my best friends and I started a shared instagram account
- I spent time with the GSA board
- I became better friends with Hickey and Aiden
- I went to Winter Formal with my dance friends
- I babysat for the Zarella's over February break
- I visited York University in Toronto (and loved it)

Toronto!

Winter Formal with Val, Rachael & Taylor

March

March was one of the hardest months. I found out that my mom had cancer, but that she was going to be okay (she is). I didn't take it well. In the same week, a senior from our high school died, and even though I didn't know him, it shook me up. School got extremely stressful, both academically and emotionally, and between trigonometry and continued discussions of feminism and rape culture, there were several days when I left school in tears. I discovered a small parking lot near a trailhead with a nice view and it became my refuge, and when I needed to be alone I would drive up there and sit in the back of my car and enjoy the view and think through things. I quit ballet and track. I thought that I thought I had a group of friends, but they were not good to me. I thought I had a crush on a boy, but he made me feel lonely, unpopular, and isolated. I struggled a lot with how to have good friends while still retaining my deeply held beliefs, because it seemed like nobody shared mine.
But also, there was a GSA party and I made a massive, rainbow mess of a cake. I cut my hair short for the first time in years. I spent time taking pictures with my friends from dance and escaping to the Jordanelle Reservoir with Karsten. My mom had a sucessful surgery to remove the tumor.

Karsten enjoying the spring weather

5 inches gone!

April 

Finally, finally, April started off with spring break. I rested, spent time with family, and tried to prepare myself to go back for 4th quarter. I spent time with different friends, visited the tulip festival, went thrift shopping with Jayda, Ren, and Karsten, and got asked to prom and navigated the sudden crush and budding relationship that accompanied it.

Tulips!

Prom!

May

May 1st marked the start of AP test season for me, and simultaneously the end of me going to school regularly for the year. After AP tests, there was no reason. In May, my prom date and I officially started dating, and that lead to a pretty large upswing in my level of self-confidence. I swam in the Jordanelle for the first time of the year (swam is a liberal explanation of what happened - splashing is maybe a better descriptor.) I spent time with my best friends - a group I'd finally found. I performed in my last dance recital at Park City Dance. I started playing D&D. I made a beautiful strawberry chocolate cake. My mom finished radiation therapy.

Baking with best friends

Jordanelle swimming crew

June

School finally got out! I cheered as my friends received their diplomas, found out I would be the next GSA president, finished folding 1000 paper cranes with Franzi, went to France to see my aunt and uncle and work an internship (video of that trip here), turned 17, danced to the best funky band ever with my dad, started work again as a camp counselor, swam in the Jordanelle more and more, and solidified my group of friends, with Madi as my best friend. 

Protect Trans Youth!

Friends in my happy place

Swing dancing!

July

 July was one of the absolute best months this year.
I spent more time with my rapidly solidifying group of friends. I went to Idaho and Wyoming for our annual music festival/camping trip, and got to spend endless hours dancing and hanging out with my sister and other sister. I went to Colorado to sail in the Junior Olympics with my partner Joie (and ended up not even being able to compete because I hurt myself), but had a good time with the team anyways. I broke up with the prom date boyfriend and learned so much from it.

Sunset at Targhee

"Training"

Tea party!

Concert in the park with pals

August

August was: spending time with my college friends before they went away, watching the solar eclipse with my grandma (my favorite person on earth), was doing prep work and getting ready to go back to school, the Shakespeare festival with my family, my dad's 60th birthday party, a return to high school for the last time, and gaining over 200 members of the GSA. 

Exploring Cedar Breaks

County Fair & Guardsman's with nerds

Dress up party

Eclipse

 September

September is sunflowers, making new friends (Sarah F, Teia S, Alee M) watching my high school football team run the rainbow flag onto the field, getting ready for homecoming, struggling to keep up with the stress of school, drama of exposing racism at school, going to a dance for the first time with a group of friends and watching Mamma Mia afterwards, and becoming homecoming queen!

Homecoming! (Photo: Evelyn Cervantes)

Sunflowers :)

Sweat Club (PC Alee Maree)

October

October started off with Joie coming back to Utah to sail with me again, except this time we won!
And we went on adventures and spent time with Nate and Mary. And in October, me and Will started doing regular adventure wednesdays, and we went to Savers and to East Canyon with Izzy. And Karsten and Jayda and Ren and I hosted a massive, amazing combined birthday party with real balloons and quinoa salad and upwards of 50 people. And I started to really appreciate my social change class, which is undoubtedly the most important class I've ever taken, but especially with the aftermath of the really racist stuff that went on, they helped me process and realize that people with my same viewpoints exist (even if they're more militant about it than I am sometimes.) And Adam and I visited Izzy and we made him a cake for his birthday! I finished my first college app! And then for Halloween we had a party and Ren, Jayda and Karsten and I dressed up like Mean Girls. I was Regina George. We also got to meet the french exchange students! And Clara is wonderful!

"Alright, now a silly one" - Ren

Sailing in 40° weather = snowpants

Social Change class = my people

East Canyon adventure with my sisters

November

November continued the adventure Wednesdays to Dancing Crane. I spent more and more time with friends, I saw Joe Biden speak live (he talked about just talking to people on the other side) and I dyed my whole head pink. I saw all of my favorite family members on one day and had the most wonderful day at Disneyland with my mom and dad and sister. I saw Ririe Woodbury with Meg.  I finished my second college app. Life was good and happy.

Hot Chocolate Party

hot pink

Bi for biden

family!!

December

December was stressful until it wasn't. I bought tickets to go see Lorde in Denver with Jayda, Ren and Karsten. I took part of 4 separate white elephant parties. I spent time with so many friends and family, celebrating the solstice and Christmas.  I changed my style and liked it. I smashed the back window of my car on Madi's mailbox. I held the 3rd annual cookie swap and the star of the whole party was the mistletoe. I babysat a lot. I said goodbye to the french exchange kids (all of whom had colored hair thanks to me). I watched the talent show. I said goodbye to 2017 with my best friends beside me and thanked it for all it taught me.

new look

happy holiday party

new years!!

And now I'm saying hello to 2018. Resolutions and reflections to come.